


Everyone Makes Mistakes

by NerdNirdNurd



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Rated Teen for Occasional Bad Language, Supernatural Cathartica
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 06:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20421173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdNirdNurd/pseuds/NerdNirdNurd
Summary: So, today's SPN fanfic tropes are:1) John told Dean to go get Sam from Stanford (oh no!)2) Dean and Sam had some (fractious and sparse) contact during Sam’s college years.3) Getting someone else to kill Abbadon seals Lucifer away forever (mentioned)4) Dean's a liar, like his father before himSUMMARY:Sam calls Dean out on the hypocrisy of the ‘saving people’ portion of the Winchester family business. Dean's angry with Sam (what else is new) and in a moment of unexpected reflection, Sam reveals something shocking.Now, the fact that this is Cathartica means there's going to be some OOC. (I'll try to keep it as real as I can)AU - After Dean's trip to Hell, but Sam figured out Ruby's plan, and turned it on it's head. This takes place after Ruby and Abbadon are dead, and they're at BObby's house for food and rest. Not beta'dSupernatural Cathartica is a series of stories based on the idea that TV characters are stupid, and if they did half the nonsense they do on tv or in fanfic in real life, the shit would routinely hit the fucking fan. These are those stories.





	Everyone Makes Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> SO...full disclosure, I NEED YOUR HELP: I got the idea for this story after reading...I can't remember the name of the story. It's set when Sam and Jessica are living together and Dean blows through, needing a place to crash for a bit, and Jessica really takes to him, but after he leaves, he never returns any of her calls, and then after she dies he admits to her grave that he's sort of glad she's dead because it means he's not alone anymore. That one.  
(I thought I had it in my bookmarks, but I did a hard reset on my phone and poof, whaddaya know, the bookmark is gone. if you know the name of the story and author, PLEASE message me - I want to give the author her props because it’s a heartbreaking story, but it’s one of my favorites, and I don’t know why, because it makes me absolutely crazy every time I read it.

Dean kept repeating the same thing over and over again. 

“You chose a demon over your own brother.” Dean snarled. Dean had learned from their father; disobedience and mistakes were not to be forgiven - EVER. Sam was currently under fire not just for disobedience, but fraternization with the enemy. Dean hadn't even started on the blood drinking yet. 

They were at Bobby's house, at the kitchen able, after a light dinner. And since they were (apparently) victorious, Sam defended himself.

“No. I didn’t choose a demon over you. I was choosing a different method of attack on the situation at hand. You keep turning it around to make it seem like you were being discarded, but that’s not true.” Sam’s teeth were gritted, and spit was spraying from his mouth. His face was red, marking his frustration with Dean’s fucked-up accusations. “I used one demon to thwart another demon’s plans.”

“You worked with a demon, Sam! Nothing changes that. There’s no going back from that.” Dean snapped. Sam watched, uninterested, as Dean rose from the table and stomped out of the kitchen. Sam sighed. Even Bobby knew that meant Sam was on dish duty.

Sam and Bobby listened as Dean noisily left the house. The front door was uncharacteristically open – they had left Sam in charge of dinner, and the house was still smoky. Which was why they had a light dinner (greens and potatoes. The meat didn't make it) Everything had been fine until they sat down to dinner and Dean cracked a joke about the smoke. Sam had taken it wrong, and things went downhill from there, ending with Dean's departure from the kitchen.

Bobby stared at Sam, with the clear expectation for Sam to rise and follow his brother to smooth things over.

Sam wouldn’t look at him. He chose to spin his fork between his fingers. That and his unfocused gaze told Bobby that Sam's mind had turned inward. Bobby was about to get up when Sam spoke.

“So get this….” He didn’t say it with his usual verve. Sam sounded tired and something Bobby couldn't pinpoint. Bobby settled back into his chair.

“Dean met Jessica a little under a year before she died.” Sam said. Bobby stared at Sam in shocked silence,

“I didn’t know that.” He said.

“Why am I not surprised? Anyway, we’d only been living together for a couple of months.” Sam paused, as if he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell the story, but Bobby leaned forward a bit. Sam took that as his cue to go on.

“Dean was beat all to hell and needed a place to recoup.” Sam said. Bobby nodded. “He stayed with us for a week.”

“Yeah?” Bobby asked.

“Him and Jessica clicked right away.” Sam said. “And I was so happy. I mean. We hadn’t had much contact, because, uh…you know. It was difficult back then, because Dean’d had to make a choice, you know?”

“Your father.” Bobby confirmed. Sam nodded.

“But…it was a pretty good week. I mean, I thought it was. Anyway. When he left, he put his number in Jessica’s phone. And she was so excited. She really took to him.” Sam paused and swallowed. Then he swallowed again. When he spoke again, his voice was a little hoarse. “Anyway. She started calling him. Once a month. To check in. You know, uh, hey. Dean, If you’re nearby, we’re having ribs on Saturday, or uh, give us a call, let us know you’re OK’, that sort of thing.”

Bobby smiled.

“Speaking of which, she would’ve loved you.” Sam said, looking at Bobby, and Bobby felt his heart break for the his boy, even though it had been years since the girl died. Tears pricked at Bobby's eyes, but they didn't fall. Sam continued his story. “Dean never called her back. Ten months. Ten calls. He never called her back. And that…it really hurt her feelings, and, uh, finally I had to just tell her the truth; I’m not from good people, Jessica. He’s just not gonna call.”

“Sam…”

“There’s more.” Sam said.

“Sam…”

“’Bout a year and a half ago, me and Dean were arguing about Dad. And Dean told me that Dad sent him to go get me from college because there was demon sign over the Stanford campus. He told Dean that I was in real danger. Anyway, the point was that John actually cared about me”

“He did, I can attest to that.” Bobby said. “He was shit at showing it, but it’s true.”

Sam went quiet. Then:

“That got me to thinking. When Dean showed up in my apartment, he lied about why he was there; He told me Dad had disappeared on a hunting trip, and he needed my help finding him, remember that?”

Bobby’s eyes widened and he inhaled. “Yeah, course I remember.”

Sam nodded. “We went to the coordinates Dad sent, but he wasn’t at the coordinates. Turned out to be a hunt. It was a wild goose chase and yeah, it was great seeing Dean again, but it pissed me off. Anyway, he dropped me off and Jessica was…” Sam went quiet again.

Bobby sat still as stone. After a moment, Sam started talking again. Only this time, he spoke through his teeth, as if he was forcing himself to say each and every word.

“What I’m getting at is this: When Dad sent Dean to bring me out of Palo Alto, Dean knowingly left the woman I was going to marry, the one he didn’t think enough of to return her calls, the one who wanted so much to make him part of her family, behind. He knowingly, and deliberately left her to her fate.” 

Bobby’s mouth fell open.

“I used to call him Universal Soldier, only, I didn’t know how right I was. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Dean didn’t leave her behind out of meanness or hatred or jealousy. I mean, I’m pretty sure he didn't. Honestly? I think he didn’t think of it. It's entirely possible that Dean still genuinely believes she couldn't have been saved.”

“What're you getting at?” Bobby whispered.

“He left her to die, sorry, WE left her to die. But I’m supposed to believe that everything we do, the core of our very existence, is to fucking save people? We’ll save any stranger off the street, any day of the week! But the one person that I wanted to marry, is the one person he made no effort to save? He tries to play it like, well, she was a civilian so she couldn’t be saved because I shouldn’t have been her boyfriend. I call bullshit, Bobby! She could’ve been saved. I mean, if I was in so much danger, then why didn't Dean say, hey, send Jessica to her parents house, or to another dorm or something, right? But she wasn’t on Captain Winchester’s fucking list. So she was just SOL.”

Bobby was reeling. Had Sam been carrying this around since before Dean went to Hell? 

"Or maybe he does know he fucked up," Sam remarked, "because from the day he met her, to this, he's never asked about her. Dean only avoids stuff he feels guilty about." Sam said. "He's like our Dad that way. He thinks avoiding the subject is the equivalent of an apology. It isn't."

There were footsteps at the kitchen entryway. Sam jumped, startled. Bobby did too. Both men turned to the living room to see Dean standing there, clearly devastated.

Bobby could tell from the shattered expression on Dean's face, that he probably wasn't capable of speech.. 

"Sam..." Dean began.

Sam sagged for a second, then pushed himself up and approached Dean. When he was standing in front of his brother, he said:

“You are my brother, my mother and my father, and I will always love you. Ruby was a tool. She was used and terminated upon completion of the mission. If it's OK to leave my fiance behind to die,, then the whole thing with Ruby should get a pass, too. I did what I had to do to kill Lilith. And if it costs my immortal soul, then it's worth it; one soul, for the whole of humanity. **We are hunters**, Dean. The ends always justify the means, remember? Family doesn't mean shit when there're monsters to kill, right?”

Dean shook his head, vigorously.

“No. No they don't. I know that now. Sam, I shouldn't've lied to you, and I should've said something about her, but I'm not good with words like you are..."

"You don't know I'm sorry? You don't know how did you meet? You didn't know how to say Hi Jessica, I'm in Nebraska. It's cold, but I'm fine, talk to you later?" Sam asked. From the tone of his voice, Bobby could see Sam was spoiling for a fight. From the change in Dean's stance, Dean did too. But Dean didn't straighten up for a brawl. He braced himself for the punch it looked like Sam wanted to throw.

“Sam, I’m sorry. Jessica's gone because I fucked up. And I should've called her back, and I should've been part of what you all had, but I couldn't get my head out of my ass and, and Sammy I'm so sorry. You'll never know how sorry I am. I didn't think of it. I just didn't think of it. I didn't mean for her to die, you have to believe me, Sam...”

Sam quietly and calmly wrapped his arms around his brother, and once the older man calmed down, Sam said "I know."

And Bobby knew, just from watching Sam comfort Dean over Jessica's death, that the boys would be all right. A least, he was pretty sure they would. He noticed that Sam hadn't said the words 'I forgive you', but...this was better than nothing. 

Bobby also wondered if Dean had really not thought about saving Jessica. Dean usually meant well, but sometimes he was mean like his father. 

Bobby was willing to bet money that Dean wouldn't communicate with Jessica as a way to get at Sam. If Jessica had survived, it would've been enough for Sam to break all ties with Dean, the same way Bobby did with his own brother Eric. Eric had refused to accept Karen into the family, so Bobby cut Eric out of his. The next time he laid eyes on Eric was at Karen's funeral. They still weren't close when Eric died some years later. 

So, yeah, sometimes Dean didn't have the good sense God gave him. Or any at all, for that matter. But Sam was more forgiving than Bobby was, so right off the bat they had a better chance than Bobby and Eric did. 

But wasn't it just like the Winchesters to have a chick flick moment because Sam nearly burnt the house down trying to reheat a fucking pot roast. 

END

PS. I didn't exactly know how to end this. So, sorry if it's kind of abrupt.


End file.
